THE TWINS
HENRY SAMBROOKE LEIGH
In form and feature, face and limb,
I grew so like my brother,
That folks got taking me for him,
And each for one another.
It puzzled all our kith and kin,
It reached a fearful pitch;
For one of us was born a twin,
Yet not a soul knew which.
One day, to make the matter worse,
Before our names were fixed,
As we were being washed by nurse,
We got completely mixed;
And thus, you see, by fate's decree,
Or rather nurse's whim,
My brother John got christened me,
And I got christened him.
This fatal likeness even dogged
My footsteps when at school,
And I was always getting flogged,
For John turned out a fool.
I put this question, fruitlessly,
To everyone I knew,
"What would you do, if you were me,
To prove that you were you?"
Our close resemblance turned the tide
Of my domestic life,
For somehow, my intended bride
Became my brother's wife.
In fact, year after year the same
Absurd mistakes went on,
And when I died, the neighbors came
And buried brother John.
***
IF NO ONE EVER MARRIES ME
LAURENCE ALMA-TADEMA
If no one ever marries me -
And I don't see why they should,
For nurse says I'm not very pretty,
And I'm seldom very good -
If no one ever marries me
I shan't mind very much,
I shall buy a squirrel in a cage
And a little rabbit hutch;
I shall have a cottage near a wood,
And a pony all my own
And a little lamb, quite clean and tame,
That I can take to town.
And when I'm getting really old -
At twenty-eight or nine -
I shall buy a little orphan girl
And bring her up as mine.
***
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